


Down For Whatever

by Kass867



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Castiel (Supernatural), But everyone lives!, Cas is fed up with society, Crimes & Criminals, Cutting, Dean Just Wants To Help, Dean is a Sweetheart, Depersonalization, Depression, Kidnapping, M/M, Protective Sam, Scars, this gets kinda dark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-20 00:45:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14249424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kass867/pseuds/Kass867
Summary: Castiel is sick of his life. Sick of the constant stress and numbness. Dean is a career criminal with a slight obsession with a blue eyed college guy. They help eachother out :)





	Down For Whatever

**Author's Note:**

> I think I finally got the formatting right now? Idk i guess we will see, im not the most technologically advanced person so fingers crossed! 
> 
> I would like to put a TRIGGER WARNING here. It refers to the cutting which is only mentioned, not described at all, but still. And mentions of scars left behind. Other than that its just dark thoughts and of course criminal activity at its finest (just kidding please lets not go out and be criminals)

The Winchester Clan are the best thieves in the country and Deans proud of that but he can’t take all the credit. It’s a family affair really, his Uncle Bobby the brains and the one to keep everyone in check, Charlie the expert hacker and bad ass fighter running tech, Sam scouting and the one to plan everything out, and then Dean, the weapons expert and the one to always make the tough calls. In the end though they all go in for the job, after all it takes a lot to pull off the jobs they have done. And yea sometimes there are civilian casualties but hey, what can you do? Your saying a few lives aren’t worth billions of dollars?

Anyway Sam is the one undercover this time as a college student. He needed to be as close to the bank as possible as much as possible and since the little community college is two blocks away it seemed like the logical solution.

Dean has also been snooping around the campus too but for different reasons. Castiel. Sam’s dorm mate. Cas is just different. Interesting in a way that captivates him. Nerdy and awkward but so confident about it too. It’s like Cas knows he’s weird and awkward but really gives no fucks what anyone thinks about it. Dean just wants to find out more about the blue eyed man, just to make his curiosity happy. Dean already knows he can’t have attachments. Not with his work. Most people would turn him in if they knew who he was, luckily their all too carful to leave video or picture evidence of themselves behind so no one would know unless they were to tell someone. Which never works out so yea Dean knows but this guy is just so captivating, he just has to find out more. Then he’ll stop. He tells himself, PROMISES himself this.

______________________________________ 

Castiel is tired. Tired of this life, tired of the stress, tired of trying so fucking hard to do good only to have nothing work out for him. Sure when he was younger he made some mistakes, maybe he has two felonies but he’s trying to do better! He’s 26 now and hasn’t been in any sort of trouble with the law since he was 19 yet the law still traps him. It’s like they don’t even want him to do better because every time he tries to get ahead, a better job or a nicer place not in the hood, they hold his felonies against him. How is he supposed to better like that? The jobs he can get and make enough to survive and pay for the classes he needs have made him hate to be around people most times. People are crazy with fast food, Castiel never knew food at 1am went that deep for people.

7 months back it was all getting to be too much so he had started cutting, Cas knew it was bad but it helped the numbness, the nothingness he felt most days. Sometimes he wouldn’t even remember his days, it was like he was living but not participating, just sorta watching it all happen from the sidelines. Cutting helped him. But he was lonely too and maybe he just wants to be held sometimes, told it’s going to be ok but Cas cant let anyone in if he’s cutting. No one would want that mess of issues. So he stopped, thinking it wouldn’t be that bad.

He was wrong. It came back. That numbness. Castiel feels like he’s drowning but at the same time doing nothing to stop it. Medication is not an option. Not after what those pills did to his parents. So he’s been trying but it’s not enough. It’s never enough it seems. Giving up isn’t an option either. Cas doesn’t think he would have a problem going through with it, He thinks it would be pretty easy, no it’s because he doesn't want to give in, doesn't want to quit. Castiel might be weak but he wont ever let anyone see it. He doesn’t want to feel not strong enough. That’s exactly how he would feel killing himself. If Castiel is one thing, its stubborn and he can do this. He just needs something to keep him focused and feeling alive…but he never knows what.

______________________________________ 

Dean watches him, Cas, all the time, probably getting slightly obsessed but hey, what else is he supposed to do waiting for Sammy? He watches Castiel as he goes about his days almost mechanically, like he’s on auto pilot. He watches Cas barley eat, just enough to keep himself at a healthy weight. Watches him go back to the room he shares with Sam and not come out for hours, only to shower and go to class, occasionally eat. Dean also watches as Cas talks with people, seeming so confident and at ease, not taking shit from anyone but not not letting anyone in either. Cas turns down multiple date offers and even offers to just chill with friends.

When Castiel goes out of town to visit family Dean gets bored and decides to go to the dorm room to see Sammy. The last thing he expected was Cas to come back two days early. Dean thinks quick when he hears footsteps he knows aren’t his moose of a brothers, hiding in the tiny closet trying to be quiet.Then Castiel locks the door and starts to strip, nothing to revealing he keeps his boxer briefs on but what Dean does see….  
Cas has scars. Deep ones from what he can tell. All on his thighs, briefs cover some but the scars go all the way down to his knees. Dean can see words like fat, slut, No, and fallen, all over his upper legs. Some spots there just really deep straight lines.There are also smiley faces, stars, arrows and all kinds of other stuff and now Dean understands why Cas doesn’t let anyone in, even a friend. He’s been low himself before, before he found his family but he’s never got that bad. His have healed but Dean thinks most of the ones on Cas will never fade out completely.

When Castiel goes to unlock the door Dean takes the moment to try and figure out how he’s supposed to get out of this now. As he’s starting to panic Sam walks in and pauses, eyes searching the room and landing on the closet before turning to Cas.  
“Your back early”  
“Yea I just couldn’t take my family anymore you know?”  
“Yea I get it, family can be hard to deal with sometimes. Your going for your shower now right?”  
Castiel smiles but it’s easy to tell it’s forced  
“That predictable huh”  
Sam chuckles a bit  
“Not a bad thing to like routine. I was wondering though if you could grab me a snack from the machine on your way back?”  
“Sure Sam, ill probably be back in 30”  
“No rush take your time”

Then Castiel’s out the door and Sam is rushing over to the closet flinging the door open with what Dean thinks is unnecessary force.  
“What the hell are you doing in there Dean?!”  
“I just wanted to surprise you! I thought he would be gone another two days”  
“That was too close, we cant risk fucking this up”  
“If he saw me you could have just said I was your boyfriend”  
Sam wrinkles his nose and does a full body shudder  
“Eww no”  
Dean laughs punching his brothers shoulder playfully  
“Whatever I’d be a great boyfriend”  
“Ha ok sure jerk”  
“Bitch…so um Cas, is he you know ok?”  
Sam turns to him again brow furrowed looking suspicious as fuck in Deans opinion  
“Ummm yea? Why wouldn’t he be? And why do you care, you don’t even know the dude”  
“I know I just wanted to make sure is all, you know so he doesn’t mess anything up for us”  
“Huh, ok I guess that makes sense but no he’s fine, just a loner, likes to be left alone a lot”

Dean drops it after that not wanting to make his brother any more suspicious. After that he watches Cas more closely. He notices Cas cries when he’s alone. Dean doesn’t invade his privacy enough to put a camera in the room like he wants to but Castiel comes out of the room with red eyes and tear tracks down his face, checking the hallway before he goes to get a shower or eat the once a day he does.

Once the jobs completed it’s time to pack up and go. Sam drops out and Dean packs up the stuff he has at the motel room. Dean knows he promised himself but as he packs his shit he can’t help but worry about Castiel. He never did speak to the blue eyed man but he knows Cas is lonely and depressed. Dean makes a decision, it’s a risky one but Cas is worth it and if he’s right it will help Cas like it helped him. Dean still has bad days but he can manage them now with the help of his little found family.

When Sam meets him at the Impala Dean tells him to ride with Charlie this time, he just needs some alone time, and Sam just shrugs and heads over to Charlies car. They don’t know, they can’t yet.

It’s easy for Dean to find Castiel since the man always sticks to his routine. He waits for Cas to take the short cut down the alley he always does, which why would anyone do that?

______________________________________ 

Being brought up the way he was Castiel was always prepared to fight. Maybe going down an alley isn’t exactly smart but Cas doesn’t know he’s being followed yet. He’s always expecting the worst anyway so it’s not like he isn’t prepared. Castiel hears footsteps and slows down a bit, getting the pocket knife in his jacket open and ready. He turns around quick once the guy is close enough and moves to stab the guy in the chest but his assailant is too fast and knocks the knife away. The guy pins him to the wall face first and all Cas can think is “This man is going to try to rape me” and he’s scared sure but he wont show it.  
“Your going to have to kill me cuz I would rather die fighting then be taken against my will”  
Cas growls it but the man behind him laughs, although it’s not a mean laugh more of a “Wow you’re a surprise” kinda laugh.  
“I would never rape anyone”  
“What then? I have no money”  
The man doesn’t answer him, instead putting a rag in front of his face and in seconds everything goes dark.

When Castiel finally wakes up he’s in a car, a loud one too. There is rope tied around his hands but at least his arms are in front of him and not tied around his back, that would be uncomfortable. He’s in the back seat and when he looks up to see who’s driving Cas is shocked to see the guy is hot as fuck. Green eyes and blondish brown hair, freckles too. Even hotness cant distract him from the headache he feels coming on already.  
“Is there a reason you kidnapped me?”  
The driver jumps and the car swerves a little before being straightened out again  
“Fuck! Don’t do that! I’m driving I could have killed us both!”  
Cas rolls his eyes  
“Seriously? You kidnapped ME remember?”  
“Hey I did you a favor, you were miserable, I’m just giving you the excitement you need in your life to stop the numbness I’m positive you feel”  
Castiel narrows his eyes at the driver  
“Have you been stalking me?! This makes no sense you don’t even know me!”  
“Well see after our last job was finished me and Sammy started casing out the bank near the campus and we needed an excuse to be so close, so Sammy went undercover”  
Castiel smiles then  
“Ahh so your Dean then?”  
Deans head snaps up to look in the mirror at Cas and he looks scared and angry all at once  
“How the hell do you know my name? Sam isn’t reckless enough to let that slip. Who are you? I knew you were to good to be true”  
Cas laughs sarcastically before answering  
“Too GOOD to be true? Ha yea ok, no genius I read his diary the one day”  
Deans mouth is hanging open and Cas has to force himself not to laugh again at the fact that the guy who KIDNAPPED him is offended he read someone else’s diary.  
“Dude that messed up! How can you violate someone like that?”  
“But kidnapping someone after stalking them for weeks is ok?”  
It is so NOT cute that Dean blushes… Who does Castiel think he’s kidding? Certainly not himself cuz it’s fucking adorable.  
“But still a diary? That’s pretty messed up”  
“Sam was acting strange when I got back early from my trip and I’m a paranoid person so I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t in danger. Guess my worry was founded huh?”  
Rolling his eyes Dean looks down at the phone in his lap before directing his attention back to the road. Castiel figures he’s cool to keep talking again.  
“He mentioned in it his annoying brother Dean needing to stop calling him Sammy cuz he’s not a little kid anymore and it’s pissing him off, but also that he knows you won’t ever stop. That was the only important thing it said so after two more pages I stopped reading, figuring I was just being paranoid.”  
Dean just nods and they both go silent but after 5 more minutes they start to slow down and Cas sees another car pulled into the small clearing. Then Dean tells him to wait here and gets out of the car. And yep, that’s Sam over there standing by the other Car. He doesn’t look happy.

It’s confirmed when Castiel hears them start to yell  
“You cant just kidnap people Dean! What did you finally snap?!”  
“Look I was trying to help him!”

______________________________________ 

Deans about to yell some more when he sees Castiel stride up beside him, minus ropes, which impressive, and hot.  
Then he starts talking  
“Sam I asked to come with”  
Sam is now looking back and forth between them, most likely not believing it since Deans mouth is hanging open in shock. Sam looks fully at Dean then though and man does he looked pissed.  
“I’m not sure what weird thing you got going on here Dean but we got people we need to keep safe and you don’t know him like that. Get a room or something and get your shit together, then get back to me, I need to meet everyone back at base”  
Sam turns to leave then but stops and looks at Cas this time. Dean puts himself a little in front of Cas, not wanting Sam to try anything.  
“Castiel we were roommates so I know you’re a good dude, but this, our lives isn’t for everyone. I’m just trying to keep my family safe. I’m sorry if I’m being mean I just need you guys to be sure about this”  
Before Dean or Cas can say anything else Sam turns around again, gets in the other car and takes off.  
Deans standing stock still but he’s a little in shock, last he knew Cas was still pissed at him for kidnapping him.  
“I don’t understand, he would have made me let you go, he would have even paid you a lot of fucking money to keep quiet. Why did you defend me?”  
Castiel looks at Dean and sighs  
“You were right before, I’ve felt more alive, more ME in the past few hours then I have in years. You gave that to me, so whatever you do, I’m down for it”  
Dean smiles at Cas looking him right in his too blue to be real eyes  
“Well I’m dangerous Castiel, were the famous Winchester Clan, we steal and take what we want. I’ve killed people”  
Castiel’s eyes widen but he just smirks and moves closer until his lips are brushing Deans  
“I’m down for whatever babe”


End file.
